I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
