Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Randomize
