When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
