I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
