try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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