we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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