I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I AM VODKA MAN
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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