how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
