Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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