i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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