It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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