New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
