Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize