u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
