im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
My pussy is not your playground.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
