weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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