drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
