My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Can you bring me the toilet please
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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