I smell stomach acid.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
