i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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