I just made out with a guy for $7.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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