it hurts more in the daytime
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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