I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
