If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
