Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
