I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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