Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
