i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Randomize
