I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
