you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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