Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
But theres a keg here and me gusta
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
