Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
