Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
