Kiss
Puke
from now on my penis is your penis
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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