Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize