All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
