Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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