is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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