new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
