Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
