Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
