Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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