You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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