I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
