3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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