what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize
