Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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