I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
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