It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
