brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
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