I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize