Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
