just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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