I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
