So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
