so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
