the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
