is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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