I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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