I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
As shirtless as possible
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
