I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
