how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
