"it" just moved
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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