So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
