im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
