I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
They took my balls.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
